Running in place...

Many of you have asked for an update in where we are in our adoption process. Well, I feel like we are running in place at the moment.

We are STILL waiting on Shannon's NJ clearances to come back. Seems they (NJ) decided to change the process where clearances are concerned. Our social worker sent the clearances and got word we had to resend with more necessary  paperwork. Awesome.
Once our home study went to our agency for review (meaning it was DONE and we were just waiting for their stamp of approval) they thought it was necessary to have my step mom included in the clearances. So we get her paperwork filled out and sent to the home study agency. We wait. And wait. And are still waiting on clearances for her. She will also need to be fingerprinted by USCIS which is another 85.00. All of this is necessary (??) because she keeps our children in our home overnight (with my husband here, mind you.) Their (placing agency) thought was that because she is included in our HS as staying in our home it would be easier to get it done rather than them request it once it has already hit the fingerprint stage.

So we wait. And I am so not good at waiting. I know, it is all in God's time. But to be completely honest I suck at this part. I want to move forward. We cannot get an update until our HS is complete. We cannot apply for grants until our HS is complete. We cannot move forward in BRINGING HER HOME until our HS is complete.

I have been in the biggest blah funk ever. I am sure I felt this way with Sam and Norah but cant remember.

There are several families in Luohe right now bringing their kids home. Some have posted pictures from the LOCC and just knowing that my daughter is in that building is KILLING me. I need a picture, a sign, a little something that takes the heaviness off of my heart. Something. Anything. I need some relief. I am feeling desperate, my insides are all out of control and antsy. I pray every night to dream of her, just to feel close to her.

I know this sounds crazy but I feel like she needs me. Now. There is just a heaviness. I can't explain it. I pray every night that God will protect her. That she will stay safe.

Please pray for Everly. Please pray that this paperwork will be completed quickly and the rest of this process will move along.

Lord, I know all of her life is in your hands. I need not feel like I need to be in control because she is YOUR daughter too. Please help me to surrender this process to you, as it is yours. Please prepare her heart and ours to unite as a family. Please take care of her. Please comfort her and protect her. Amen...