I know that most of you are aware that we are adopting again. I have felt this longing in my heart that started not long after we got Norah home. I have prayed and prayed, searched and searched. Longing for a child that I do not know yet...
A while ago Shannon and I went to a 2 day DSS class here in SC to be able to adopt from our state. We got our fire inspection complete and now we need to do our DHEC and homestudy. Why am I dragging my feet????
In the mean time I am approached several ( 5 or 6 ) times about someone that knows someone that maybe knows the neighbor that is pregnant and is choosing adoption. Or someone else that may be choosing disruption. Sure! Pass along our name and number!! Nothing has worked out to date for us. Those that know my story, and I have made mention of this several times, that Baby Bird #3 will be no different than #1 or #2. It will not be easy for us and bringing them home will require many hours on my knees in prayer. I am ready for that.
I recently took a month off from looking. I was getting a bit, okay ALOT obsessed over another adoption. I was searching and scouring the Internet. I looked at every Heart Gallery in ever state in the US. I poured over every international agency that had a photo listing. I was exhausting myself and tormenting my heart. I had to take some time off. This journey to child #3 was getting in the way of me being a mother to my kids. I was constantly on the computer and just in a bad way in my head. I had to step back and just "be still".
I also wanted clarity if we were doing the right thing by adopting again. I felt it so strongly in my heart but I wanted to know that I was doing right by God. I wanted to make sure that what I was doing was pleasing to Him. So during my month off, I prayed . Alot. That if this was not what we were supposed to be doing that He would take away this desire and replace it with contentment.
No such luck. But I know that I am on the path that He has cleared for me and right now that's all I need to know.
I know that there is a little one out there that was made for us alone. And that makes me so excited. There is a child out there that belongs at our table. There is a little one that needs our family as much as we need them. I don't know where they are. But I will rest in the peace that He has provided thus far. He has not let us down and in His time, everything is made perfect.
Thank you Lord for hearing this mother's heart. Thank you for giving me the desires of my heart and for hearing me when I cry out to you...